home

“HOME is not a place. It’s a feeling”

Over three years. That is how long we have been searching for a house. A house that my parents, and youngest brother Michael, can call home. I’m not going to say “the perfect house”, for I do not believe in the concept of “perfection”. What I will say, however, is that it feels right. And good. And happy.

From St. Louis to Kansas City. My parents and brother will be moving 252 miles across the state of Missouri – leaving behind a house that has been “home” to my parents for more than 40 years. It is where they raised seven kids; five in ten years, with a ten year break, and then two more; followed by more than a dozen grandchildren. Is this going to be easy; for anyone…? Nope. Change is NEVER easy. But it’s time.

My brother, Michael, just turned 30 this summer. Michael has Down Syndrome. He and I are the “bookends” of the family, and Michael will eventually be my permanent buddy…xoxo Moving to KC now means new roots, new friends and new surroundings while everyone is still young and healthy and happy. My dad will celebrate his 80th birthday later this year in his new house. We are so blessed….

“Home”

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

(lyrics/music by Phillip Phillips – click below)

be the bird

5 / 16 / 155 / 18 / 15

This is why I never get anything done.

My heart was full – to the brim – with good intentions. I was gonna sit down and pay my bills. NOW. No more procrastinating.

Check list. Computer, stack of bills, pen, jacket because I was chilly, let the dogs out on the deck, music on, leftover coffee warmed up, porch windows open, cell phone (texting my kids), new pen (out of ink)… check, check, check

Hmmm. I’m out of my “bill payment sheets”. No problem; just need to run a few copies, so this isn’t an excuse to procrastinate next month. Ya. Right. What is a “bill payment sheet”, you’re wondering…? Well, short story – my organized alter ego coming through. A little Excel thingie I created years ago that I fill in each month with each payee and the amounts, dates, confirmation numbers… I love charts and graphs and columns. You see, in my mind I am a very organized person. Somewhere in the follow ,through, is where it seems to fall apart.

So off I go into the hubbies office where we have our printer. This stupid machine seems to take forever to warm up. I decide to spend my waiting time getting a closer look at our bird families that are currently renting space on our front porch. So off I go in search of binoculars. Surprisingly, this proves to be a rather simple step. For some reason, they are exactly where they are supposed to be. Weird.

What happened next was quite unexpected. Above the right column was our mama dove. She is a regular. Must have about 100 babies by now. Poor exhausted thing. As I focus in on the nest I see little pieces of my front porch planter, woven throughout… You’re welcome, Mama Dove. Just help yourself. “A mamas gotta do what a mamas gotta do.” (Feel free to quote me) As I divert my gaze over to the left and focus in on the second column, I see the other mama bird. But she is not a dove. She is a little sparrow…? I guess. I dunno. She is tiny, and definitely not a dove. I think she is a sparrow. Whatever. Here’s the point of the story.

It was at that very moment that I envisioned world peace.

Here were these two mama birds, living side by side, coexisting peacefully. They were not the least bit concerned that they were different colors, or had different markings. One was 2-3 times the size of the other. No worries. Their voices; their songs – so very different. Not a bother. No judgement. No prejudice. They were simply and respectfully doing what God had asked them to do with their lives. So the “take away”? I dunno. Maybe “Be the bird”. Ya. I know. I hear your thoughts. It’s simplistic and ~~a bit~~ naïve, I admit -But, OH, what a beautiful thought…

The printer is screeching and spurting ugly sounds, catapulting me back to the here and now. The printer is warmed and ready for action. I, reluctantly, set down the binoculars and move forward. I simply must stop procrastinating and pay these stupid bills. But first… I need to take this jacket off because I’m sweating, let the dogs in and close the porch windows because it looks like rain, re-warm my coffee that’s now stone cold – Oh, and lookie – a text from the kids…

“Be the bird”

live happy… cathy

what a crazy month…

3 / 11 / 15

Wow. What a month.

Whatcha been up to? Me? Oh, ya. I HAVE been busy. Like “Super-D-Duper” busy – Thanks for asking. The easiest way to explain my absence is a quick timeline of events (Ya, RIGHT!! Quick! That’s something I’m super good at… hahahaha!) OK. Let’s say more of a ~~never ending~~ long, rambling sequence of unrelated random words… Yep. Good at that.

It all started with New Years resolutions. Cleaning/purging the basement. BIG job. Lots of time to think. Got sick for a week. More time to just think. (Too miserable for anything else). During this contemplative period, began exploring the idea of re-entering the “retail rodeo”. WHAT?? (I know. Crazy. I blame the fever) On a total whim, I decided (on a Monday) to contact two gals that own a cute little boutique about seven minutes from my house re: rental space. By Thursday I had “verbally agreed” to sign on to rent the entire basement space of CHARM, a cute little (1905) house in “Martin City”. We agreed that I would open the basement space on Thursday, March 5. And the crazy began…

First of all, I needed merchandise. You know; something to SELL… Not enough time to go to market, so I started contacting reps, perusing my catalogs, searching online… quite a challenge really. Like REALLY!! Then there are fixtures. Gotta have a way to DISPLAY all of that incredible new merchandise! Mapped out a plan on my “to scale” graph paper, and felt really good about that. I still had my fixtures from Trendz (my previous rental space), and it appeared that they would all work perfectly. Needed new business cards with my CHARM info, and in the process of searching those out, stumbled across a site “Angie makes”. Loved the artwork/design, so ~~randomly~~ decided it was time for a complete overhaul… new logo, new website/blog, new merchandise tags WITH my new logo… along with those new business cards – the very thing that started this whole domino effect. Ya. All great ideas. Because I didn’t have enough to do already.

Everything took longer than anticipated. Of course. Eventually the merchandise started to trickle in. But the tags were delayed, because the “final answer” on my logo was delayed. Then there was a delay on being able to move in because of weather issues. It was, to say the least, very frustrating!! We finally found a “window” just days before my official open. Bad weather was due to arrive the very next day. It was literally a case of “now or never”. My sweet bro-in-law and my devoted hubbie were there for me, once again, ready to help move all of the “big stuff” over. I had three main pieces; all beautiful painted wood shelf units. Big ones. To hold lots of good stuff. The first one was rejected on paper. I realized that the height was ONE stinkin’ INCH too high for that old basement ceiling… at it’s highest point. Ouch! DOWN ONE. Stay positive. I still have two more. The second piece, a real BEAR, made it out of my Creations room to the basement door before it was rejected. The “reality check” was that it would not make the turn at the bottom of those old wooden basement stairs. Panic! DOWN TWO. OK, gotta re-think this. I will figure it out. I still have one more… So we loaded her up on the truck, along with some random tables etc. and off we went. On the outside, I was fine. But inside, I literally felt sick to my stomach. How was I going to display everything with 2 of the 3 major pieces GONE!! Ugh! Luckily, it’s a very short jaunt between my house and CHARM, so not too much time to dwell on the situation at hand. When we got there, we entered and started measuring everything between “point A and point B”. Final answer? There was NO WAY that 3rd shelf unit was gonna make it down those stairs. I’m done. DOWN THREE…

The next morning was crazy. In moving that 2nd shelf unit the previous day (the one I referred to as a “bear”…), my husband had pulled a muscle in his back and I was worried about him! I would not let him lift a finger to help. (He was not very happy with me…) But there was a big snow/ice storm coming our way, and I had boxes and boxes (and boxes) of merchandise to move over before it hit. Alone. So I started packing my car (it was already snowing hard) and began the process of moving everything over. Several trips. Box by box by box… Shoveling the snow every time to make a path to the font porch of CHARM. Not fun. But I did it! Once it was all finally inside and down the basement, I stopped to look around. There was merchandise stacked everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE! None of it was tagged yet because of the delay on my tags. There were empty holes where shelf units were supposed to be. Where was everything going to GO?? For a moment, my eyes filled up with tears at the “overwhelmingness” of it all… and then I sprung into action. Nothing about any of this has gone “as planned”. So what. This is just a “chapter” (my 2015 “word“) in my book of CHARM. I will make it work. I CAN do this.

So I DID…

“my word”

2 / 1 / 15

book dandelions — Source: Eqinox/We Heart It

I finally decided on “my word”. For 2015. My word is “chapters”.

Whew! I mean, here it is, February 1st. Already. That means I existed the entire first month of January, 2015… with no word. What? How? OK. Here’s the deal. I didn’t want to just grab any random word; and call it MY word. I had to ponder. And dwell. And stress. Now I probably shoulda coulda woulda started this process a little earlier, but to be quite honest with y’all (my son moved to Dallas. Gotta do that y’all thingie every once in awhile now…), I DID NOT KNOW we had to have “a word”. Yep. I’m just being really honest here. I just didn’t know. Did you know? Ya. You probably did. My friend Dawn has a word. (Click HERE) And she had a word last year as well. She just kinda “knows” these things tho…

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look?”

A couple lines from one of my fav Blake Shelton songs… Truth is, I have always looked at my life as a book, and every single chapter in “my book” has made me the very person that I am today. The good, the not so good; accomplishments, defeat; amazing triumphs and overwhelming heartbreaks; over-the-top joy, and excruciating pain. It is all me. It is my book. Those are my chapters.

2015 promises to be a big year for me. As it stands now, I will be writing many new chapters throughout the year. And closing others. Case in point, I started the year off by closing the longest running, absolutely hands-down greatest chapter in my “book of life” thus far… The chapter dedicated to raising my (amazing) kids. You notice I did NOT say the chapter dedicated to “Motherhood”. Oh no, no, no. I know better than that. There is no “one chapter”; no “end” to the privilege of Motherhood. My kids will ALWAYS be my kids, and I will ALWAYS be their mom. Nothing will ever change that. EVER. Yes; there are many levels, and chapters, to Motherhood. But the reality is, I am done “raising” my children. They are both almost 25 years old now. Adults; living and working on their own. But I must be honest in telling you, it hurt like crazy to turn that page. To leave behind that amazing chapter and move on.

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look…?”

2015… Stay tuned.

live happy… Cathy

saying goodbye to 2014…

12 / 31 / 14

Saying goodbye to 2014 is bittersweet. It has certainly been a year of change, to say the least.

Both of our kids graduated college and entered the (gulp!) “real world”; acquiring great jobs right out of school. I must tell you that we sincerely appreciate what an incredible blessing this is…!! In the fall, our son moved 500 miles away to Dallas, and that has been a real adjustment for our family. We miss him terribly; but he is happy and settled and doing well. Truthfully, at the end of the day, that is all that really matters. And, after much searching, our daughter has finally found a place to live (here in KC, thank goodness!!) and is moving out with friends in the next couple of weeks. She is SO excited!! Well… it certainly looks like the hubbie and I are gonna be empty nesters here in 2015!! Our plans to move my mom, dad and youngest brother to Kansas City escalated in 2014. Their home, where I grew up, is in Florissant, Missouri… just north of Ferguson, Missouri. Unfortunately, now everyone knows exactly where that is on a map. I have 21 family members living in the area. Two are police officers. Needless to say, it has been a very tense and emotional experience for our entire family. We hope to have my parents and brother moved to Kansas City very soon.

In the meantime, please join me in praying for peace. Everywhere…

We have a family prayer book that I started back in January 2002. Inside that book – snipits, clippings, pictures… memories of those people that we have lost over the past 13 years; or those people that have simply been in need of our prayers.

“A picture is worth a thousand words, but the memories are priceless”.

For the many we said goodbye to in 2014… We light a single candle. There are no words. xo

the magical Christmas tree

12 / 3 / 14

It’s early. And quiet. And the tree is on…

I am supposed to be doing something else right now; but I can’t. I am completely wrapped up in magic and memories this morning. So I succumb to the moment. I turn on some relaxing music, my “Spa Christmas” CD (not kidding.), light a Christmas candle and pour another cup of hot coffee. We need to chat…

You see, I realized something very, very important this morning.

Our Christmas tree is magical.

Here’s the deal. Over the years our tastes have changed, decorations have come and gone, we have even moved from house to house. But something significant occurred to me this morning. Our Christmas tree is different. It defines us as a family. It is the one true constant that ties every single Christmas together throughout the years.

We are not a fancy tree family. No white lights, Waterford crystal and Christopher Radko ornaments here, my friends. Our lights are bright and multi-colored; our ornaments an eclectic combination of wonderful memories. A snapshot of who we are as a family.

A Chiefs ornament that my sweet (widdle) hubbie made as a kid in 1971; a Santa walking his 3 little pigs (that’s mine!), a collection of treasured ornaments given to my kids every year from their grandparents, our very own “Christmas Vacation” squirrel, a beautiful assortment of treasures hand-painted by my (very talented) mom…

We have decorated this tree together as a family for more than 24 years. When it comes to our favorites (Mom & Dad), however… that is easy. We have a little box that houses all of our very, very favorite little treasures. Most of them date back 20+ years to the preschool days. Our precious little angels – perfectly framed in construction paper stars and sequins. Glittered teddy bears with crooked little googly eyes hand-crafted by two adorable little three year olds. Priceless. And, without a doubt, magical…

In the quiet of this magical morning, as I was snapping pictures of our beautiful tree – I was overcome with emotion… the treasured memories of days gone by. An intense happy and sad at the same time. Our son moved to Dallas in the fall. He was home for Thanksgiving, and it felt beyond wonderful to have both of my kids home at the same time again. As a family, we treasured every single moment together xoxoxoxo And although our time passed so very quickly, we were able to accomplish one very, very important thing before he left. We decorated the tree. Our magical tree…

For those of you who may not believe in the magic of Christmas, allow me to share one final thing. As I was reminiscing this morning, completely wrapped in a warm blanket of memories from the past, I was also very focused on the happiness of this given moment. The present; a gift. A thought suddenly occurred to me. What about our kids? I wonder what favorite memories and traditions they will carry with them into THEIR futures? Our daughter LOVES Christmas, her family and tradition. I think it is safe to say that she will probably take a lot of her memories of Christmas past into her future. My son is also very family oriented, but decorating for Christmas was never a real “priority” for him. When they were little, both of my kids each had their own little tree in their rooms. Santa would always leave one little gift under their (room) tree on Christmas Eve… if it was up!! My daughter had one tree with lights AND three bright tinsel trees plus an entire collection of her own ornaments that she had collected over the years. No problem there, Santa. My son? Well that was a completely different story. Trying to get him to decorate his one little (room) tree was next to impossible. That is, until he finally figured it out. He started hiding the little tree (completely decorated) in the back of his closet from year to year. From that point on, it was never a problem.

So you are probably wondering, as I was this morning, what special memories will he carry into his Christmas future…? He is on his own now for the first time, far from home at Christmas time. He lives alone and although he will be back in Kansas City a few days before Christmas, I was sad thinking that that he would not have any “Christmas” in his new apartment over the next few weeks. It was at that very moment that a text came through on my phone. “Mom, I’m thinking about getting a Christmas tree… Any chance you could send my ornaments? They should be in the back of my closet.”

I cried. Yes, sweetie. I know where they are.

And that is the story of the magical Christmas tree. The end.

hello, again

11 / 1 / 14

hello. again….

I’ve been gone awhile. Six months, to be exact. But I’m back. In my usual, haphazard sort of way. You know; a post every day for 2 weeks. Then nothing for the next three weeks.

Or six months.

I needed a little social media hiatus, I guess. A time to chill. Regroup. Collect my thoughts. Ponder life…

Bold statement: “I’m going to attempt to be a bit more consistent in my blogging” (don’t think that I don’t hear the muffled giggles amongst you…)

Followed by the “however…” statement: “In order to do so, however, I must learn to be a bit more, well.. brief?” (OK – the muffled giggles just turned to outright laughter…!)

OK, Yes. I said brief. I know. It sounds ridiculous coming from me, doesn’t it!? I agree. But I’m sure gonna try. Truth is, I think that I really need this place, this little space, to share what’s in my head and my heart. I’ve said it a million times before, but blogging – for me – is an online journal. My diary. My therapy. I’m sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences with you, in hopes that something that I say may touch your life in some small way. Perhaps we will connect on some level. Start a conversation. Or not. It may simply be something you just needed to hear or see at that very moment. Something in your heart; not to be shared with anyone. That works for me too…

So it’s November. A beautiful month to honor the spirit of gratitude. Every day this month I am going to post a picture on Instagram; something that I am grateful for. I am going to jump back on Facebook, as well. Although not as often as I used to. And, of course, stay tuned – right here – for future “brief, yet meaningful” blog posts from yours truly! (teehee!!)

yes. it’s hello. again…

got s.w.a.g.

4 / 30 / 14

Got milk? Ya. Me neither. Lactose intolerant.

But I got SWAG! Yep. Just returned from my SNAP! Blogging Conference on Sunday night. And let me tell you, friends… I got seriously “SWAGGED”. Yes ma’am!! Now, like me, you may lie awake at night, tossing and turning, wondering to yourself; “But what IS “SWAG”, actually?” Hmmm… I started playing around with the letters in my brain. Wait. Think I’ve got it. “Sweet Widdle Assorted Goodies & Givaways”. Ya. That sounds right. Nope. In reality, it means “Stuff We All Get”. Really? Wow. That is seriously b-o-r-i-n-g. Liked mine way better.

It will take several blog posts to tell you EVERYTHING about my incredible time in Salt Lake City. Truth be told; I am still slowly p-r-o-c-e-s-s-i-n-g all that I learned and experienced. Yep. It’s gonna take awhile, friends. There were “secret sisters” (another blog altogether!) and door decorating contests; “pajama parties” and “prom night”. We had AMAZING keynote speakers, sponsors and entertainment. The classes to select from were so wonderful that I found myself torn between “this one or that one” many times over. My only option…”eenie-meenie-miney-moe“. From the word “go”; it was truly a feast for the senses. Rooms set up like your favorite Pinterest boards come to life; detailed delights and surprises around every corner. And just to be surrounded by so much creative energy… Wow. I’ve just gotta say it again… WOW. Absolutely amazing, really. My brain is on super-duper serious overload. For the time being, I can only process SWAG.

To be continued…

A great big THANK YOU to ALL of our sponsors…

The Home Depot, Cricut, Miniwax, Duck Tape, Rust-Oleum, baby lock, RYOBI, Cents of Style, Elmers, World Market, Darice, Scotch, Jo-Ann, Homes.com, Thompson’s Water Seal, Simplicity, Sizzi, DecoArt, Moen, Gorilla, Charmed Collections, Lollipics, DohVinci, DCWV, Modern masters, hometaslk, Tough Press, IKEA, O’Keeffe’s Company, ruffle fabrics, Sweet!, Pick Your Plum, inlinkz, Wacom, Atly, American Crafts, The Ribbon Retreat, Art Gallery, Pollinate, WEAVE, Persnickety Prints…

off to SNAP!

4 / 23 / 14

http://www.pinterest.com/poeticwanderlust — Source: Tracy Porter poetic wanderlust

So it’s time. The “to-do” list is checked off, my bags are packed and it’s time to head to Salt Lake City for the SNAP! Conference. (lies, lies, lies. My “to-do” list is MILES from being completed, and I haven’t even touched my suitcase. I’ve got less than 24 hours as I write this post. Ya. Whatever.)

http://anightowlblog.com — Source: A Night Owl

So you’re wondering. What is SNAP!, exactly. Well, in all honesty… this is my first SNAP! Conference. But here’s my guess… Think “creative thinkers” meet “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” meet “middle school slumber party with your (new) BFF’s.” Ya. That’s a lot, isn’t it. Can’t wait!! We have “secret sister’s” and we bring “roomie gifts” ( Check out Kimberly, from “A Night Owl“). And, of course, there’s a slumber party and a door decorating contest! (Yes. I am 52.) Oh ya… and classes. Two and a half days of great classes!! Should be a BLAST!

Still wondering? Alrighty. Here is a direct quote from the official SNAP! site…

“Welcome to SNAP, where you’ll find creativity at your fingertips. There is something a bit different about being a creative blogger…Instead of dissecting life and examining the pieces like many online writers, we’re busy dreaming, sharing and building things up. We inspire one another and when we connect in ways that comfort and sustain, it is something truly extraordinary.

That is why we launched SNAP – a community where imaginative bloggers can come together; learn from one another and walk away invigorated.
The hallmark of this community? A three-day conference April 24-26, 2014 in Salt Lake City, Utah,targeting the best bloggers representing modern handmade, contemporary craft, mind-blowing events and DIY.
Take a step away from your busy life and join us for lots of laughter, hugging and replenishment. You’ll walk away with a stronger sense of community, enhanced skills and an even greater sense of self.”

Little-America-Hotel-Salt-Lake-City — Little America Hotel & Conference Center – Salt Lake City, Utah

So I’m sorry to have to say this, but I’m gonna have to give you a little break on the ole’ blogs here for a short time. (Suddenly, out of nowhere, she heard inconsolable weeping…) But no worries. I’ll be back in no time. (wink, wink!) Dawn (Joyful Scribblings) and I are gonna do our best to throw things on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter… as we go along. Otherwise, we will just catch up when I return!!

live happy… Cathy

joyful scribblings

4 / 22 / 14

About a year ago, I stumbled across the blog of a gal named Dawn. “Joyful Scribblings“. I like it. She made a nice comment on one of my blogposts, so I went to her blog to “check her out”. (No. I’m not a creeper. That’s what bloggers do with other bloggers!) In the process, I stumbled across a “few” similarities… Married with a son and a daughter, an SUV and a brown 2 story house “in the suburbs”. A dog person with a sweet tooth and a frequent shopper at Ann Taylor Loft, Trader Joe’s and Target. OK. Nothing earth shattering so far. But then it went a little deeper. Self described as “a dreamer, a list maker, a person who is passionate about collecting ideas. All with a touch of sarcasm…“?? Oh my. She was describing ME! She went on to list two things that are on my “bucket list” that most people don’t even know about me… I would love to play the drums (yes. really.) and I dream of publishing a book of my writings someday. OK, Dawn. Whoever and wherever you are; You had me at “Hello”.

I immediately called my mom to inquire about the day of my birth. Is it possible that I might actually have a twin sister somewhere out there that someone just forgot to mention…? I told my mom that somehow, somewhere; I would meet this ~~obviously~~ “wonderful, amazing, All-American” blogger… named Dawn.

Several weeks later, I got an email request to participate in a group blogpost “Lazy Days and BBQ’s” from another blogger that I had never met. I was invited to come in as the resident “expert” (teehee!) on entertaining/table settings. That bloggers name? Yep. It was Dawn. Don’t believe in fate? Fair enough. Read on.

In the world of blogging, one of the really fun things is getting to “meet” people online that live hundreds (or even thousands) of miles away. I was excited to know where I was headed if I wanted to meet this new friend of mine at some point. As it ends up, this get together wasn’t going to cost much in the way of travel miles. Dawn lives less than five miles from my house…!! Ha! But wait! There’s more. Our daughters share the same first name. Our sons share the same middle name. And her son’s first name is what we were going to name our daughter when we thought she was a boy! Ha! And it just continues on and on from there. Some of our extended family similarities would blow your mind…

So we eventually met at a Starbucks to discuss the details of our “group blog”. Soon after, we decided to go to a “Blogging Conference” together in Chicago. The conference took place in July, and although we had only known each other for a couple of months, everyone thought we had been friends forever. Many even thought we were related! Too funny! One year later; we are great friends! We have lunch, we go on “double dates” with the hubbies, we share stories and problems and challenges, and we talk and text more than we probably should. We both love photography, food, crafting, the beach and have wonderful hubbies. We are a lot alike, but at the same time very different. Almost like the “yin and the yang” of the same person!

So off we go... Heading to Salt Lake City this week for another blogging conference. SNAP! (Talked about this conference in a recent blog called “creative thinking“) Both Dawn and I are really looking forward to going. It looks like a GREAT group of bloggers that will be there!! Our “peeps”!! Last year we (somehow) ended up taking matching Martha Stewart turquoise leather notebooks. Not kidding. This year?? I’m thinking maybe matching “Hello Kitty” lunch boxes…

So without further adieu; my friend, Dawn… “Although I consider myself ordinary, I’ve always believed I was meant to do and experience great things. We all are because we were created. I sometimes overlook the simple abundance and possibilities which surround me because I get caught up in the treadmill of life. My intention for creating this blog is to find the joy in the everyday. Joy is something you feel from within and makes your heart smile. Outward circumstances can’t affect it unlike happiness. I hope you find joy from within and follow your passions.”

Please hop over and check her out at Joyful Scribblings…