sleepless in kansas city…

3 / 9 / 15

Just over two hours. That’s how much sleep I got last night. I could blame daylight savings time, or the one cup of (caffeinated) coffee at 10:00 AM yesterday morning… but I think not. I was in full blown “mommy mode” last night. My brain was on total overload, and there was no “shuttin her down“…

My kids are almost 25. Adults. I get it. Kinda…

My daughter left town yesterday for business. Alone. Had to catch a plane, and then another plane, get a rental car and drive two hours to a place where she has never been. A long day for her, an unsettling feeling for mama bear. She came over for dinner one night last week, and we figured out that because of travel conflicts, we will not see her for several WEEKS, even though she only lives about 25 minutes away. Gosh. I miss her already…

My son moved to Dallas last fall and started into a crazy busy phase at work after the first of the year. Long, long, LONG hours… seven days/week. Ugh!! After a quick text back and forth with “Dad” last night (sports talk), he told his dad that he was gonna try to hit the sack… “not feeling the greatest“. The nonstop stress on his body was trying to catch up with him. “Tell Mom I love her…” I’m sad. He needs Mom’s homemade chicken soup…

And then there is my cousin’s daughter’s daughter (pictured above). Eleven years old. In heart surgery RIGHT NOW. My dad’s side of our family has a history of various “heart issues”. I am posting this today for two reasons… One is prayers. Starting right now (PLEASE!), for her successful surgery; and going forward, for her recovery. Secondly, I am attaching her mom’s facebook post from a month or so ago, in hopes that it might make a difference, maybe even save a life. Please feel free to share the following information, as I have not included any names.

“Warning: Longest post ever, please read. I usually never get very personal on here or do I ask for many favors but today I am doing both. We just recently found out that **** has an anomalous right coronary artery. What that means is the her right coronary artery is next to the left one. In order to be there it has to lay between her aorta and pulmonary artery. This is bad because during physical activity as those vessels fill up with blood her coronary artery can become compressed and shut off blood supply to her heart. This is one of the few things that cause sudden death in kids as they are playing sports. Because of this diagnosis we were faced with decision. We could choose not to do surgery but **** would not be able to engage in any physical activity for the rest of her life and probably have to take meds or do open heart surgery and make the opening bigger so the artery doesn’t become pinched. Neither option is good but after a discussion with the cardiologist and ****, we decided on surgery. While her chance of sudden death with the defect is low she is still at increased risk and a life of no physical activity for an 11 year old didn’t really seem feasible. The thought of surgery is scary as well. We are all very worried but thinking about what is going through ****’s head is extremely hard.
So here is where the favors come in. Yes, I have several favors. First, we are asking for prayers. Prayers and good thoughts for a successful surgery with a speedy and hopefully easy recovery. We are to expect 1-2 week hospital stay, 3-4 weeks off school and 6 months no activity. Those first few weeks will be rough and could use all the prayers we could get. Second, I recommend having your kids checked. This can be found with an ECHO which is basically an ultrasound of the heart. It doesn’t hurt. ****actually had an ECHO in 2011 and was told all okay but recently found out that the artery wasn’t easily visualized so I would specifically ask to have that checked. Most of those sudden death cases of kids on the football field, basketball court etc…could be prevented. Third, We are trying to come up with ideas to help make ****’s recovery easier. Special things that we could for her. We have a few but not sure if they will work so please message me if you can think of anything. We don’t have the surgery date scheduled yet but hoping for early March so she will be in the clear for the next school year. Besides that we Just want to get it over with as it is consuming all our thoughts. Thanks in advance for the prayers and positive thoughts we appreciate it.”

In the next couple of days, I will post a blog on what I have been up to lately. As for today, just one very simple, but powerful, request. Your prayers…

thank you xo

“my word”

2 / 1 / 15

book dandelions — Source: Eqinox/We Heart It

I finally decided on “my word”. For 2015. My word is “chapters”.

Whew! I mean, here it is, February 1st. Already. That means I existed the entire first month of January, 2015… with no word. What? How? OK. Here’s the deal. I didn’t want to just grab any random word; and call it MY word. I had to ponder. And dwell. And stress. Now I probably shoulda coulda woulda started this process a little earlier, but to be quite honest with y’all (my son moved to Dallas. Gotta do that y’all thingie every once in awhile now…), I DID NOT KNOW we had to have “a word”. Yep. I’m just being really honest here. I just didn’t know. Did you know? Ya. You probably did. My friend Dawn has a word. (Click HERE) And she had a word last year as well. She just kinda “knows” these things tho…

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look?”

A couple lines from one of my fav Blake Shelton songs… Truth is, I have always looked at my life as a book, and every single chapter in “my book” has made me the very person that I am today. The good, the not so good; accomplishments, defeat; amazing triumphs and overwhelming heartbreaks; over-the-top joy, and excruciating pain. It is all me. It is my book. Those are my chapters.

2015 promises to be a big year for me. As it stands now, I will be writing many new chapters throughout the year. And closing others. Case in point, I started the year off by closing the longest running, absolutely hands-down greatest chapter in my “book of life” thus far… The chapter dedicated to raising my (amazing) kids. You notice I did NOT say the chapter dedicated to “Motherhood”. Oh no, no, no. I know better than that. There is no “one chapter”; no “end” to the privilege of Motherhood. My kids will ALWAYS be my kids, and I will ALWAYS be their mom. Nothing will ever change that. EVER. Yes; there are many levels, and chapters, to Motherhood. But the reality is, I am done “raising” my children. They are both almost 25 years old now. Adults; living and working on their own. But I must be honest in telling you, it hurt like crazy to turn that page. To leave behind that amazing chapter and move on.

“What’s the greatest chapter in your book? Are there pages where it hurts to look…?”

2015… Stay tuned.

live happy… Cathy

one week and counting…

11 / 20 / 14

My baby boy moved to Dallas in September. I miss him.

A lot.

How old? Twenty four. So what…!? You don’t just NOT miss your kid cause they are 24 with a real job… in their own apartment… in a fun area… surrounded by people their own age… in a big city… with a lot of golf and restaurants and nightlife… ??

Yep. I’m pretty much screwed.

So I simply hang on to whatever lands in my lap. A phone call, a ~~letter in the mailbox~~ funny text, an Instagram pic, a Snapchat video… Anything that brings him just a bit closer to home. But I miss still miss him.

A lot.

If you follow me on Instagram (creationsbycathy) you know that I have been posting every day during the month of November about things that I am grateful for. Spoiler alert… Exactly one week from today is Thanksgiving. A day for giving thanks for all of our many, many blessings. That being said, I can already tell you what I will be posting that day. “Someone” is flying in to spend Thanksgiving with his family… and mama bear, papa bear and sister are so, so, SO excited!! Three and a half glorious days!! The hugs. The kisses. Sitting next to him on the couch. Waking up in the morning with BOTH of my kids here… It’s almost too much! Yes, the countdown has begun…

tick, tock, tick, tock….

live happy

that’s my mama

5 / 12 / 13

If I had a nickel for every time my mom said; “Oh my – You are just. like. your. father!” Now, mind you, this is usually stated in a rather loud voice, and is not to be mistaken as a compliment. At least not at the time that she is broadcasting this fact.

Research states that we have a tendency towards either left-brained or right-brained thinking. I “think” that I am, however, the exception to the rule. (And I think that I think this from my left-sided thinker. Ha! Kinda “Dr. Seuss-ish”!). I really do believe that I am pretty close to a 50/50 split. 50% left brained, like my dad. Logical, analytical, mathematical, thrifty, conservative and stubborn (Mama no like that last one…!). But… I am ALSO a right-brained thinker, like my mom. We are creative, intuitive, spiritual; possibility thinkers (dreamers) with a hint of mischief. OK. On occasion, slightly more than a hint… (Did I tell you the story about when my mom was a little girl at (Catholic) “summer camp”…? Snuck into the nuns tent when they were sleeping and hung their “double D’s” out on the clothesline for all to enjoy…)

Growing up as the oldest of seven, I was “Mama’s little helper” from day one. My “maternal instincts” developed at a very early age. Some of my brothers have been known to throw the word “bossy” around (what the heck??) when we are reminiscing about days gone by… their ~~rough~~ life growing up with two older sisters. Ya… whatever. Let me just say, in my own defense, that – to this day – I would do anything in my power to protect my sister or any of my brothers from anyone or anything. Family, ALL FAMILY, is my beginning and my end. Period.

My mom taught me SO much about life, love, happiness… Those lessons and experiences helped shape me into the woman, wife and mom that I am today. Looking back, there were so many things that I did not understand, so many unanswered questions… all crystal clear once I became a mom myself. I have to laugh now, thinking back on the days when she would declare that “for the rest of the day“, we were not allowed to use the word “Mom”. Or “Mommy”. Or anything even remotely close. Pam. We had to call her Pam. Alrighty then. Pam it is. That’s my mama.

As far back as I can remember, my mom always encouraged me to be me. I’m a little (Ha!) “out of the box” at times, but she has always supported and embraced that part of my soul, allowing me to grow into my authentic self. Truth be told, I am still growing into that “authentic self”, and she is still there supporting and encouraging me every step of the way. Yep. That’s my mama. My mom makes me laugh. A lot. Belly laughs that make you cry. My mom is funny, and I love that about her. Sometimes when you’re down and out, you just need someone to tell you to “put your big girl panties on and deal with it“. Well, friends… that’s NOT my mama. Sometimes, however, you need someone to rub your back (even if it’s long distance), tell you that it’s OK to cry and reassure you that everything is going to be OK. Even when it’s not. That’s my mama.

So today I say, thank you mom… for everything that you are; I am; we are. From now until forever, I will always be proud to say…

Yep. That’s my mama…xo

Oh… and P.S. – You still make the best “homemade, from scratch” cinnamon rolls on. the. planet. Enough said.

snow day

2 / 26 / 13

So here in Kansas City, it’s been snowing. And snowing. And snowing. Now, mind you, this wouldn’t be so bad… if I didn’t hate the cold so much. But I do. And snow is cold. So today was another “snow day” around here. Schools, businesses, roads… closed. Kids… home. Now when my kids were little, “snow days” almost always involved, among other things, two basic foods… hot chocolate and homemade chocolate chip cookies!!

So today I had one of my “babies” AND my hubby here, both forced to work from home because of the weather. It made me happy just having them here… Happy enough that I decided to make cookies. Chocolate Chip Cookies; of course.

As the house filled with the warm, familiar scent of homemade cookies, hot from the oven… our neighborhood street filled with the happy, contagious laughter of kids. It was “snow day” laughter… that “three pair of socks, frozen pink cheeks, let’s build a snowman” kind of laughter. And it truly was contagious. Even for someone who really hates the cold. So I gathered a plate of warm cookies… and out I went. After all, playing in the snow is hard work! They HAD to be hungry. So they nibbled on cookies and gave me a tour of the area while I snapped pics. The “under the ground igloo/ fort”, their snowmen, snow babies, a snow dog (named Lulu) and a snow horse! And, yes… They even built a snowman for my yard!! After awhile, I realized that my “50-something” toes were ~~cold~~. No… frozen. So with a camera full of pics, an empty cookie plate and frozen pink cheeks… I decided to head on back inside. I guess next time I’ll wear three pair of socks…

“moo” said the dalmation

10 / 31 / 12

So it’s Halloween. A day for lttle kids (and sometimes full grown adults!) to test their inner “ying & yang”. All of the sweet little angels want to be devils, and the crazy little terrors want to be Cinderella. It is a day that evokes so very many memories for me, somehow. As a kid, myself, we had a big family and there were no “costumes” like some of the elaborate productions that you see today. Basically, your choices were vast, and limited only by your imagination. That is “code” for “find some stuff in the house and put it on; we’re leaving in five minutes”. Well, let me just say that this was a system that worked just fine for me. My mom’s suggestion for me…? A gypsy. A what??? OK – Once I discovered that this costume involved lots of baby blue eye shadow and lipstick, my mom’s chiffon scarf tied around my head and lots and lots of her jewelry – especially that coveted gold coin bracelet/necklace… well, I was hooked. So a gypsy it was… every single year. Such a smart Mama…!

Fast forward about a hundred years – and our kids are now the “trick-or-treaters”. Oh my gosh, they loved figuring out their Halloween costumes, but the rules were (kinda sorta) the same. We basically tried to create a costume out of things that we already had – we just gave it a month or so; rather than the traditional “five minute warning”. There were lots of alterations… but the creative process was the fun of it!! When they were just a couple of months old, they were tiny twin pumpkins – so cute; but store bought! The next year, however, I was feeling really adventuresome. I went to a fabric store and bought patterns and material to make their costumes from scratch. Yep. From scratch. A bumblebee and a dalmation. OK – let me explain something here. I feel that sewing is kind of like math. You either “get it/like it”… or you don’t. Let’s just say that a sense of reality washed over me about “mid-project”. I get math. I don’t sew. Too late. So I finished it, and was feeling really proud of myself for pushing through. I dressed the kids in their costumes and brought them out, beaming with pride, to show their daddy. “Awww… How cute… Daddy’s got a little bumblebee and a baby cow”. Did he say – a COW??? Oh my gosh, it was, so obviously, a DALMATION… “Just look at the ears”, I screamed! “Those are dalmation ears!!!” Suffice it to say, that this was the “one and only” year that I made a costume from scratch. Any sewing from that point on was a straight seam or a needle and thread. Period.

The years rolled on; so many memories. An angel & a devil; a cowboy & an Indian Princess (still giggling about that pic… as you can see!), Santa & a bride; Batman & the Snow Princess… Wow. I remember the year of the pouring rain where we literally ran, carrying them, from house to house covered in rain ponchos; or the year that my daughter was sick and had to spend Halloween on the couch – so her brother took her treat bag and gathered candy for her at each and every house.

When my son got a little older, we would have to bring Uncle Patrick over to carve a legit “scary” pumpkin, because Mom wasn’t very good at that. My scary pumpkins were still kinda “happy/scary” – Like a creepy clown.

So fast forward another hundred years. I’m gonna have to say that Halloween just isn’t the same when you’re kids are in college. As much as I love the amazing adults they are today, and I really do, there is still that inner mommy voice that silently wishes to go back in time just for a moment… to re-live the memory, to capture that feeling… But I can’t. So I make Halloween coffee/tea and drink it out of my Halloween mug (from when they were little) one more day. The neighbor kids will be out in full force tonight and I love seeing all of them!! Time permitting, our little nephew will stop by for a quick pic and a dip into our Halloween bucket. I will, however, have to keep his mom away from my display of Halloween photos from years past. She was over the other day, and was gazing admiringly, at all of the pics. She is one of those people who DOES sew, so the fact that she was fixated on the pic of my “bumblebee and dalmation” was particularly impressive. She obviously recognized the quality and workmanship that went into those costumes. “Awww… How cute!” she exclaimed. “A bumblebee and a cow!”. Right. I give. “Mooo….”, said the dalmation.

trash day

10 / 9 / 12

Today is Tuesday, and Tuesday is “trash day” at our house. In our home, this is a day of scheduled acts of kindness… vs. “random”. I have a story to share, but I have to admit that I was torn about whether to “put it out there”… or not. I am a HUGE believer in “Acts of Kindness” that come from the heart in a spirit of love and generosity. Not attention or recognition. When I came across this quote (below), I knew that sharing my story was the way to go. I realized that in the sharing of these “good deeds” – we are really sharing the “spirit” of these deeds, therefore making them contagious.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”

~Amelia Earhart

It all started about 20 years ago. My twins were very young and absolutely fascinated with watching the trashmen in their big trucks. They would wait for trash day every single week, and then they would pull up their “Little Tikes” chairs to their second story bedroom window and wait… and wait… and wait… for the trashmen to arrive. I cannot honestly tell you how the conversation originally began, but suffice it to say that we decided that the trashmen were probably quite thirsty in the middle of their long, hard day. So we started taking cold sodas out to them when they would arrive. Every week. The problem would arise, however, if we were not there at the moment that they arrived. So we started a new plan. We bought a little cooler that was big enough to hold a few sodas and an ice pack. If we were not going to be there, they knew that the cooler was for them. This soon stretched into winter, and we knew how cold the trashmen must be on their long winter days. So we started making hot chocolate and got a big thermos that we could fill in the morning. The kids would make little “goodie bags” for them at Christmas time with snacks, McDonald’s gift certificates and homemade cookies. This whole idea blossomed into taking sodas on a hot summer day to anyone who looked thirsty… even if it was roofers working on a house three doors down! They had internalized this spirit of kindness and were thinking kind thoughts – independent of their mom – with their own little hearts. Wow.

Fast forward twenty years. Our kids are away at college, and their hearts will always be kind. Tuesday is still trash day… a scheduled act of kindness day that has been so richly rewarded through the years in hugs and smiles and gratitude. WE are blessed. Pass it on…

live happy… laugh, love, dream, create

cleaning sinks; making muffins

8 / 29 / 12

Some things in life are straight forward, clear cut, black and white. You know what to do, maybe you’ve even been there before. Everything just seems to make sense.

Some things don’t.

Last Friday morning my friend’s husband passed away very suddenly. He was only 58. We are a group of friends and neighbors, all in our 50’s, kids close in ages. We “girls” get together regularly for “coffee”… which is really just codeword for “therapy”. We have been there for each other through thick and thin, laughter and tears… We are a diverse group. Very diverse. And that really works for us. Never, however, have we had to be there for each other like this.

So what to do…? Your mind fills with a laundry list of things you can’t do. You can’t bring him back. You can’t turn back time. You can’t take away her pain. So you do what you can. Whatever “that” is. For me, it was helping to clean her house for the onslaught of people who would converge on her in the coming days. Then I made muffins… and casseroles… and phone calls… and trips to Target. In my state of “helplessness”; I found great strength in the “doing”.

So our little group has suffered a terrible blow. Times two. The devastating loss of a treasured husband and father last Friday, and then our friend, Mary, left on Monday to follow her heart, and her dreams, to Maine. (See previous post; the “Maine” goodbye) We will, obviously, never be the same – but we will survive. This is definitely unchartered territory, so we will just have to “wing it” I guess. We will be there to help in any way that we can in the days, weeks, months to come… Though we are all very different, we will do whatever we can; what we do best… whatever “that” is.

Banana Nut Muffins

2 c. flour

1 T. baking powder

½ t. salt

½ c. butter

3/4 c. sugar

2 eggs

1 1/3 c. ripe banana, mashed

1 c. chopped toasted pecans

Sift together dry ingredients and set aside. Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Stir in mashed bananas. Add dry ingredients all at once, stirring just enough to moisten. Gently stir in nuts. Spoon into greased muffin tins, filling about 2/3 full. (about 15-18 muffins) Bake at 350 for 18-20 minutes or until golden brown.

sugar cookies

7 / 9 / 12

So today is “National Sugar Cookie Day”… and for me, that brings back a flood of “warm, fuzzy” memories! With my mom, with my grandma, with my kids. Easter, Halloween, Christmas, just because. Sugar cookies on a stick for every “half birthday party” at school. Ahhh… It’s like a little trip down memory lane; and I am suddenly missing those “”above mentioned people” very much… Tuck these recipes away for a rainy day, and create a future memory with someone that you love. Enjoy!

Sweetopia’s Sugar Cookie Recipe

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups butter (at room temperature)

2 cups sugar

2 large eggs

Seeds from 1 vanilla bean (or 3 tsp vanilla)

5 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

Instructions:

1. Cream the butter and sugar together in the bowl of an electric mixer on low tomedium speed. (Use the paddle attachment). Mix until thoroughly incorporated – forabout one minute. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a plastic spatula and mixagain for a few seconds more.Over mixing the butter and sugar in this step will cause too much air to be incorporatedinto the dough. If you’d like a light and fluffy cookie, that’s ideal, however the dough will spread more during baking;

not ideal if you’d like the cookie to hold its shape.

2. Add eggs slowly and mix. Scrape down the bowl with your spatula at least once andmix again.

3. Cut open your vanilla bean and scrape the seeds out. Add to mixing bowl. Alternatively, add liquid vanilla extract. Stir briefly.

4. Sift your dry ingredients together. (Flour, baking powder and salt).

5. Add all of the flour mixture to the bowl. Place a large tea towel or two small teatowels between the edge of the bowl and the electric mixer so that the flour won’tescape. Mix on low speed for 3o seconds. Remove the tea towels and observe the doughmixing; when it clumps around the paddle attachment it’s ready. It’s also important atthis stage not to over mix the dough (the glutens in the flour develop and the dough can become tough).

6. Roll the dough out between 2 large pieces of parchment paper. Place on a bakingsheet and into the fridge for a minimum of 1 hour.

7. Roll out the dough further if you need to, and cut out cookie shapes. Place onparchment paper-lined baking sheet. Re-roll scraps and repeat.

8. Put cookie dough shapes back into the fridge for 10 minutes to 1 hour to chill again.They will then hold their shape better when baked.

9. Preheat your oven to 350°F or 176°C.

10. Bake cookies for 8-12 minutes or until the edges become golden brown. The bakingtime will depend on the size of your cookie.

11. Let cookies cool to room temperature and decorate!

A few notes about the recipe:

*Butter – The butter needs to be soft, or room temperature. I leave mine out the night before I do my baking. If you forget, you can grate the butter on the largest hole of your box grater, so that the sugar and butter will mix together better.

*Baking powder – I hardly use any baking powder in my recipe because the dough willspread and rise more during baking, thereby making the shape of the cookie less crisp.